Life

When you're on a work related phonecall and afterwards, someone comments that you sound very cute on the telephone.

*yikes!*

The little things ...

When you are walking towards a shop and some random guy who's just came out from the shop spots you walking towards the shop thus standing there waiting and holding the door open for you despite you still being approximately 15 steps away.

When you board the bus with bags of shopping and a guy reaches out to help you with them.

When the security personnel in the building sees you each morning and greets 'Good Morning, miss' as though you're some big shot though you're not. Noticeably, it does not happen to every single person who walks past the doors.

When you're looking for a place to throw some rubbish away and ask for directions to the nearest dustbin but the person takes it from your hands and does it for you instead.

When you head to the pub and each bar attendant acknowledges your presence and offers to serve you. In the midst of it all, you getting slightly confused whether to nod or shake your head since you barely hear the different questions 'have you been served?', 'just wait a moment' etc... Probably answered half of them wrongly. It's weird to get all five/six people serving you when people usually have to wait for ages before being served.

When you aren't served and the bar attendant attends to someone else and they direct the attendant to you instead since you were waiting there earlier.

When you get on the bus and moments later it starts pouring heavily outside but stopping when you arrive at your destination.

When being so far away from home and still being able to have a sense of home.
Having dinner and bumping into someone from the same country who share common friends, enquiring and hence obtaining 10% discount(student). Total being 11.20 and saying 11 lah still works.

When people take the initiative to call or write just so you won't feel lonely.

When people can't wait to spend time with you, when they truly miss you and love you.

When you are able to return home safely every single day.

This is a non exhaustive list and I could go on and on... but I shall stop here for now ~
Most importantly, being able to smile and feel blessed whenever you wish.

Of odd feelings and what nots...

I was somewhat surprised and taken aback today by my intolerance for people getting into an argument and not being happy. It felt really weird to get so affected. I felt like running away and having to leave the place just cause I felt so uncomfortable. I don't think I've felt like this before. Hmm.. which is why I was truly surprised. Weird...

Doing things that I didn't think I would and yet find them enjoyable. I suppose this is a plus point. =)

I was at a lost for words and find it really strange when others know of things about me earlier than I do. Didn't really have time to linger on that feeling due to the shock and happiness from the news that ensued.

Learning to accept certain ways and things, mannerisms about people which I may not agree with but learn to brush off.

Feeling very loved and blessed for those who stand up for me even when I wasn't there. And more so to those who then got into unpleasant situations due to that. I never really knew how to thank them. Those two commonly used words seemed hardly enough. And yes, news travel with the winds and somehow I do hear of these things every now and then. I just feel truly blessed with such people in my life.

And then there were others... but of course, life is a balance. In an odd way, I thank them for being there too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am either. Although it sounds rather wrong to be thankful for the unpleasant events life brings. Or perhaps I'm just an odd-ball in thinking so. Hmm...

Shall stop mulling over things that might just turn too philosophical.

My 5 cents for the day. =)

I am heading home soon! =)

It's been a long time since I've been home. I feel somewhat like a tourist, it's odd that I'll only be spending a little over three weeks at home for the entire year. I guess that makes it that extra bit more special.

I can't wait to be home.

Of times when you just want to sing and dance and twirl around in circles.. doesn't matter if it's raining or the sun's shining straight down upon you... You stare straight back and smile happily, regardless...

Taking a little time to be lost and some time to find my way back again... Despite things being difficult and unpleasant at times, somehow I still feel grateful. Perhaps I'm odd and weird. It's like feeling thankful despite being in tears. I'm not too sure how to put it down in words but it's really really odd.

When someone shows you the way and teaches you how to live ~ =)

I am trying to put down how I feel, my thoughts and emotions but I feel a little apprehensive of whose eyes might fall upon this tiny space and perhaps insignificant words. Ignoring that, I still find it difficult to pen down this feeling within.

It's amazing the way things are turning out. I am incredibly thankful and feel truly blessed. Sometimes I don't believe half the things that are happening and feel as though it is a dream. It actually takes a few days before I truly believe it truly is happening to me, of all people.

There's this feeling of happiness where you just want to hug the person right in front of you at that instant which I had to restrain myself due to it being totally inappropriate. Thankfully my rational side kicked in for one tiny second and hence I excused myself promptly and proceeded to find someone else to hug. Haha.... I thought that only happened in movies. Guess I'm proven wrong once again. =)

All the worrying and stress and actually obtaining some good news was a real relief. To be told an additional piece of information which was totally unexpected made me speechless and actually questioned it twice to ensure I heard things properly. Then to obtain another cherry on top of the cake is....... indescribable.

I feel truly thankful for all the wonderful events and the love being showered upon little me.

I want to remember this feeling, always ~
You never left my side, despite my naive thoughts, my silly childish moments;
You guided and showed me the things I needed to see;
I am who I am because of every single blessing in life that has been bestowed upon me; for which I am eternally grateful.

Did you miss me? =P

If you're reading this (I doubt strangers read my blog... at least that's what I like to think >.<), I probably miss you too! ^^

Feel weirdly and oddly happy. It's as though a huge happy bubble emerged and burst inside me into a trillion zillion billion many many MANY tiny happy bubbles. Gosh.... I just realised I seem to be describing a champagne bottle being shook vigorously. -.-

No idea why but just HAPPY! Hehe...

So far things have been going great. I've seen and learn lots of thing and perhaps there's a few which I probably wouldn't have liked to know but all's good. I'm getting pretty good at this! ^^

HAPPY!
pardon me for this crazy burst of happiness~ Ooo... hopefully happiness is contagious and it brightens your day toO! YAY!! Okay, shall stop now before I type more embarrassing stuff.

toodles ~

It has been an interesting 2 days. =)

Message if you'd like to know more. =P
Hehehhehehe....

^^

Results day...

I hoped for 70%, just to scrape a first as this had been a tough year.

I was pleasantly surprised and then some. I didn't think I would feel this way anymore. It is absolutely amazing, to say the least. =)

To do something without expectations and purely because you like to is not an easy feat.

I dislike goodbyes.

I amaze myself sometimes at how I get so attach to people whom I barely know even and care about them (not that they know since it might potentially freak people out) and I actually feel sad when they leave.

I think about a lot of people though I don't talk to them on a regular basis, not even rarely and even if I think I'd not ever talk to them again. It just feels a little weird especially when time passes by and you figure they'd have created a good life for themselves surrounded by their bunch of friends whom they share stuff with and you become one of those people they used to know. I realise the wall people build around them and the secret key a few possess to whom they share stuff with. I dislike shallow talk especially those that make up for the otherwise awkward silence but I suppose its unavoidable.

At times I dislike myself for caring so much cause it hurts in a way. I guess I still hope to be able to talk to everyone like how things use to be though I understand how hugely impossible it is, but I can still wish, can't I? sigh... I miss all my friends.

I resign to the occasional newsfeed and updates on the various networking sites to hear a little about them and hope they are happy and hopefully one day we'll be able to sit down and talk once more, honestly sincerely without the facade everyone's building up. Sometimes I wonder why people mean so much to me... the lengths I go to for some... it's really silly at times but I suppose that's just me.

p.s. transformers 2 was good! =)

Transformers TOMORROW!! *hopefully!* Hehee... and karaoke session too ~

Yay! =)

I feel happy today. It's really nice to be able to talk to friends and somehow it makes me feel as though I'm back in high school again with all the familiar faces, sounds and laughter. ^^

I think I am slowly finding out what I want and how everything is fitting in together. I am truly blessed. *happy!*

p.s. Had a sushi party the other day. 4 people and approx 8 cups of rice. GAH! I'm definitely putting on SO MUCH weight. Holiday and having so much time to experiment with food is a definite recipe for weight gain. ^.^

p.p.s. Lack of pics due to my faulty camera and pics all with friends who have yet to get back to me with them but I think they are uploaded on facebook.

FUn fun FUN and boring moments too...

Been experimenting with recipes, some turning out nice, others not... BUT still edible! =P

Tried cooking risotto, pineapple fried rice and baking a few things here and there. I think it's safe to say I am putting on weight! >.<

Finished reading Salem Falls and watched loads of movies and shows. Feels like a true holiday!! Wheee ~~~

Might have a sushi party one of these days and dinners and karaoke sessions and probably head to the movies! Lalalaaaa.... happy!

Not to forget having the whole day to play computer games! =D

Got a haircut today! It felt really nice going to the hairdresser. Haha... I feel so deprived of all these small privilleges. Hmm... feels weird how these small things makes me happy. I suppose it's a good thing. =)

Went for an indoors picnic after that (since it was rainy weather again). Played pictionary and got to meet a few people. It was rather nervewrecking when I had to go up and draw. Gah.... Thankfully my team mates were really really REALLY good at guessing. They managed 'cheshire cat', 'cliffhanger', 'AC/DC' etc. I had no idea how to draw 'vortex' though. Hmm... even now, I can't think of how I would do it.

Suppose to go for dinner and karaoke session but feel a bit tired after the day's events. Stayed in and had a drama marathon. =P OOooo... not to forget, we baked chocolate crinkles!! They are super yummy!! Hehehe... Will upload pics later! ^^

Bye bye stockholm~

Back to England and it was BBQ day with my coursemates!!

Touched down, had lunch and after a short rest we went shopping for BBQ stuffs. It was suppose to be a simple fun outing with a bunch of friends but.... there was such drama.

Thankfully everything went well and things were all good. =)

It was fun to be outdoors and I like seeing charcoal burning. However, there was quite a lot of burnt food. >.< Hopefully we will manage to improve and 'rescue' the food in time.

Happy but very tiring day.

Stockholm day 2! =)

Went around Gamla Stan area. The buildings are all very well kept, it seems as though they are painted yearly and look like bigger versions of miniature houses; square neat little blocks. Very adorable! ^^

Then it was Grona Lund time!! HAPPY! ^^

Hehehe..... super happy dayyyy!! But had a super super long tiring walk to Hard Rock cafe in the evening. Wasn't as expected but oh well, it was an experience.

OH! Managed to catch a live concert in the park after that. There were little food stands all around the area and a huge place with benches and tables for people to enjoy the food. The atmosphere was amazing! Felt so lucky to be a part of it. Wonderful way to end the evening. =)

Super happy day!!

Stockholm! =)))

Woke up SUPER early and took a cab to the airport. The weather was rather rainy but that didn't stop us from having fun and travelling around.

First stop IKEA! Hehe... or rather, McD's since it was raining and we were hungry. The Ikea there was HUGE and they had super cheap hotdogs. =) There were free shuttle buses to and fro the city too. I thought that was rather nice of them to provide free transportation.

Did some sightseeing after that and met lots and lots of nice people. They are just so friendly and try their best to help. The cars on the road always stop and let people cross and they don't blare their horns at you either. The same goes for cyclist. Felt so welcomed and relaxed.

Stayed at 'af chapman' hostel where we had rooms on board a ship. It was a unique experience and the ship was really pretty. =) I took the bottom bunk.

There was some high school graduation or party or something going on. The streets were filled with noise of teenagers jumping around at the back of trucks, blowing whistles and pouring beer out the sides. It was a rare sight and the noise was just deafening.

OOooo... had a mega huge ice-cream after that. SO happY! =D

Hmm... too bad no pictures yet. Will upload when I get them.

Okie, that's all for now. =)

Hmmm.... turnout to today's sports activity wasn't good. Perhaps people were tired or slept in since it was rather early in the morning. =(

Played a little basketball while waiting for others to turn up. Learnt a little on how to shoot but felt rather weird doing those movements. >.<

Switched to badminton after that which was rather funny since a friend was given a 'handicap' by playing with his left hand instead of his right. Hehe... turned out to be rather entertaining. =)

OH! Played a little shooting hoops game which the guys taught us. Got really stuck in the first positinon but moved on pretty quick after that. YAY!

Fun fun fun day!~ =)

Played football and netball in the main sports hall with my coursemates again.

The netball game was pretty funny since most didn't know the rules and there were a few basketball movements here and there. Hehe... hilarious.

Headed for lunch at 'Dirty Duck' after that. It felt really nice to hang out and talk about fun stuff instead of work. =) HAPPY!

I am finally done with year 3. Gosh it has been a mad run. Finished two actuarial papers yesterday and had a paper this morning. Needless to say, I didn't study much for today's paper and probably just passed.

Oh well, that's over and done with. =)

Hmm... oddly, this whole sense of having nothing to do feels so new. I keep feeling I am being lazy, I'm just wasting time and I should be studying or doing something. Then, I realised I have 4 long months of holiday!!!

Studying, worrying being pushed to the limits with assignments and tests for 5 long long LONG months really takes its toll or perhaps it's the degree.

I think I shall go off now and re-learn how to enjoy my holiday and actually not feel guilty for stepping outdoors, watching a little tv or even sleeping in. Gah.. I feel so deprived.

p.s. it totally dawned on me that sometimes I don't step outside the flat for days and when I do, it's either for grocery shopping or to do the laundry. -.- That feels really sad.

YAY ME!! I survived the 5 hours of exam on a SATURDAY! Whoopee!!! Bye bye probability theory, bye bye principles of finance! HAH!

Finished with mathematical programming 3 today which was okay. lalalaaa...

Next up, another killer two days. Gah! I can do thiS!! I feel so tired, seems as though I've lost the stamina to sit for endless exams. I feel old. >.<

Anyway, two actuarial papers on Thursday (stupid exam timetable), hope my brain will magically remember everything. According to lecturer, we're going to be rushed for time. Sigh.. guess I better practise writing really fast too. Then my last paper on Friday! Wheeee.... though I haven't revise for that. >.<

Four - five hours after thursday's exam to revise. Hope that will be enough. =)

I am happy, for now. Haha... probably get stressed out later with actuarial stuffs.

Tata for now! =)

I sat for my bayesian statistics and decision anaysis paper today. OMG! It was sooooooo long and we had two hours to complete three questions where questions are 3/4 and one question the full length of the page. GAH! Crazy!!

Plus, the questions are in paragraphs, i.e. chunks and chunks of words, no part(i), part(ii) etc. Only part(a) a whole chunk of perhaps 4-5 parts, part(b) another chunk etc. Basically, it's read question start writing, no time to think.

If you don't know and pause to think, you basically run out of time and have no time to finish. So so panicky and stressful!

I was rushing and rushing and there was one part which I didn't know and therefore I just simply wrote something down and skipped it.

When there was 2 minutes left, I finally managed to finish going through the paper, and went back to look at that question. I realised how to do but guess what, no time left! =( So sad lah!

Haiz... no time to check for mistakes and there were other parts which I didn't know how to do too! I think I need to not only study but also practise to write really really REALLY fast.

Now, joy to exams on Saturday, 5 hours in total. I am soooooo dead.

Yesterday was a scary day. For no obvious reason I suddenly felt unwell and the room was literally spinning. I opened my eyes whilst lying in bed and say the ceiling turn clockwise and anticlockwise while the lights moved up and down in a blurry manner. I thought this only happened in movies where they exaggerate things.

Thankfully I'm all better today. That was super scary and frightening! Needless to say, not much studying done.

4 days till exams....

Hope I'll manage to get everything into my brain and make sure it sticks somehow.

p.s. It is totally annoying when answers to past exam papers are not provided. How am I going to know if it's right or wrong? Gah!

10 days till exams! 7 papers, 9 days. I can do this! ^^

On another note, happy mothers' day to my dearest mum!
Glad you liked the flowers. It's the least I could do. =)

Back to studying.... Whee... ~ =P

Just received an email. Exam date changed from 6 weeks later to 2.5 weeks later!!

OMG!!

Such a drastic change! Didn't study for this module since the rest of the SIX papers I take is 2 weeks later and I have 2.5 weeks break after that for that module.

How am I going to finish revising for seven papers. This is not good at all. OMG... I'm freaking out. Can they do this?! Ahh!!!

p.s. the exam is scheduled on a Saturday afternoon right after my morning paper. Total of 5 hours of exam in a day. GAH!

My wisdom TEETH are growing. OW!
One grew out and three are growing at the same time. -.- Only one hurts but thankfully not too much.

On another note, exams in two weeks and I feel so out of it. I need to get studying!!

I had a dream and it was so complicated. -.-

It involved, darkness, fire, water, earth... so many elements. Gah.. I dislike dreams like these, leaves me so tired.

Finance and Financial Reporting revision class today, scheduled for 5 hours but ended up 3.5 hours. YAY! =P

During the afternoon session, the lecturer asked me a question. I was surprised and stunned since I was busy copying. It was a calculation question and I didn't know the answer. The conversation:

lecturer: What's the change of .......
me: Umm.... absolute or percentage change?
lecturer: Percentage change
me: Umm... I don't know

neighbour: XXX%
lecturer: What did he say?
me: Erm... (turns to neighbour) What did you say?
neighbour: XXX%

me: XXX%
lecturer whispering: what?
me whispering back: X X X %

lecturer still whispering: tell him he is right
me: *smile* and said nothing

Aiyerr!! So embarrassing. He went on to ask me two more questions after that. People were laughing and my friend thought it was so funny. I felt so flustered and it felt a little funny whispering back and forth with the lecturer in class. >.<

After a few days of bright warm sunshine weather, it turned into rainy gloomy weather. I felt so lazy to head out and just wanted to stay indoors where it was warm and cozy.

However, armed with my umbrella I headed to the sports centre for the first ever MORSE sports activity -- football! I wasn't sure what to expect but it was pretty fun since most people didn't know how to play. Lots of kicking the air and passing to the wrong person etc.

I am not too sure what happened but I managed to aid in the scoring of a goal. However it was for the opposing team. -.-'' People were all laughing and I was like hmm.. now.. what just happened. Haha... ;P

We played for about 1.5 hours and I felt totally exhausted after that. The aftermath of playing football = body aching and I feel like an old woman. >.< I guess that shows how unfit I am.

We had probability theory revision class today and I think everyone's suffering the same effects. We are a bunch of 'old' people, for now. ^^

Ta-da! New layout with chat box installed! YAY me! Haha.... I should be studying but look what I did with my time. =D

Since friends are asking 'why no access???!!' I guess I shall not restrict the blog.

p.s. I didn't know people were still following after my lack of updates. >.<

Back from Brussels. Pictures with Pei Lynn. My camera's faulty so I didn't bring it along. =( Hope it won't cost too much to fix it. I'm suspecting something is loose inside. When I shake the camera, it switches modes, e.g. from taking pics to review pics. So weird.

On another note, my Swatch watch battery gave out on me. Luckily I still have my Guess watch. Hopefully it'll last till after exams. >.<

Will update more about the trip soon! Loads of DRAMA. Haha... gonna go bathe now.

p.s. restricted blog permission to family members. now, daddy and mummy have access too! =)

Love you all and been missing you all LOTS! Hope the internet connection at home will be working again soon.

p.p.s. Daylight saving adjusted and now the time difference is 7 hours.

Going holiday tomorrow!! YAY!!!

Pei Lynn bully me for access and now she wants to hack into my blog to delete this. Hmmmmmmmm........

Oh, and I didn't bring camera, she said she not going to give me pictures with her inside. Haihhh.... See larrrr.....

Okay... shall stop here in case she kills me in Brussels. Oh noooo.. OHHH I'm safe, she said she will kill me after that cause she don't want to go alone.

Nvm this post if you don't know her. Oh and if you don't hear from me, you know who to ask. HAH!!! Okay.. shall stop NOW.

Often I plan holidays and it doesn't work out.

People seem to be busy and do not have time to go along with it. At other times, people are half way across the world, too far to join me.

So many times I have sat and planned and thought about all the things that could be done. I feel disappointed over and over again. Yet, I still keep planning and looking forward to them, I guess I'm just silly that way.

Somehow it just feels special to be able to think of a place you really want to visit and when you actually do, it just feels extra special. I always feel wary of sharing my plans since I'm afraid it won't work out or just gets ruined. It feels as though once I talk about them, they are doomed to fail or opened to rejection or criticism.

Places I want to visit don't work out. I wait for a few months, a year, two years and still it doesn't happen. I've been meaning to visit a place for such a long time that after more than two years, I just gave up on ever going. When I finally went, it wasn't so special anymore. I guess it just got ruined by all the disappointments along the way. Hmm... I guess I just have to keep trying and someday, hopefully my plans will all work out and I finally manage to set foot on where I would like to go.

I wish my family were here and we could all go together.

-.-''' Sitting in front of the computer doing assignment till it's nauseating. Geez.. thankfully listening to songs on my ipod helps reduce the effect. I never thought this would ever happen. Hmm.. I wonder if there's any scientific explanation to this.

On another note, test tomorrow and then one assignment to rush! I don't feel too stressed out which is rather surprising. I actually feel rather happy. Weird, eh? Hmm.... I think perhaps the computer got to my brain too.

I realise change. I feel change. I see how I am changing which surprises me. I didn't think it would be something one is aware of unless of course if done consciously. It feels as though I am looking at myself from a third person's perspective and I can see how I am evolving in certain aspects. Perhaps everyone feels that way, hmm.. I don't know.

Sometimes I lose myself, sometimes I get so involved that I forget where I am going and what I am seeking. Sometimes I lose track of what's important and what isn't. I feel thankful that at least I do remember them at times when it is crucial and important. Sometimes certain things amazes me. Yet, certain things scares me. Sometimes I can't explain how I know what I know. I really believe someone's looking out for me and I am truly thankful for all that I have.

I am blessed and I am grateful for it all. =)

I am going to be happy.

I miss my family.

As I was walking home today, a thought just came to my mind... this happens quite often, weird random nothing that somehow become a string of sentences in my head which I quite often forget to write when I reach home. Oddly, most of the time they flow into a nice paragraph in my head but just get all tangled up when I try to recall them.

Anyway, I shall try my best of efforts to write them down from now on. =)

I was wondering how it would feel like to be an uncut, unpolished, ''un-found'' diamond. You can mingle with the stones and pebbles, roll around in the dirt and no one would care less. When you're discovered, you're chipped here and there, cut away into pieces, polished and then become a decorative object. Let's say you become a rock on someone's finger, people go WOW when they see you and you might even evoke jealousy or even theft which results in negativity amongst people. Hmm.. just wondering if the diamond were able to think, how would it feel...

If it were your choice, would you choose to be a shiny diamond or would you be contented playing around with the pebbles?

p.s. it is not meant to be emo! it's just a random thought. I guess you could say it's a little weird, perhaps the stones on the way home made me think of it. Haha.. =P

p.p.s. I think I should put a shoutbox so people could leave their comments by the side but I kind of forgot how to do it. >.< Help?

Did not have a good rest yesterday...

Apparently certain people were vacuuming in their room at 4am

*grumble grumble*

It's chinese new year again and I'm missing out on all the festive fun yet again. *sniff!!* I am seriously missing the atmosphere, friends and family, even the cheesy chinese new year songs although I must say there are more and more modern ones as the years go by. Oh, not to forget all the worrying about putting on weight due to the incredible amount of food and cookies available and then dismissing it almost immediately and indulging! Haha... all the wonderful food~

Here in the UK, it's quite like cny doesn't exist. There are no 'red' decorations around, no nothing. The only notion and feeling you get it's new year is the occasional 'happy cny' greeting you here from fellow asian friends and of course the get together friends organise. Other than that, it's lectures as usual. What a huge difference.

I must say though, that the greetings from friends, people I haven't really heard from and family plus the new year card and emails received are very very much appreciated. They are the few little things that bring forth the new year spirit. Plus of course, my dad's idea of listening to new year songs on youtube. Haha... =P

Went out with friends to 'Big Wok' in Birmingham for dinner last Friday. It was nice to hang out with them, it was the second outing we had as coursemates. The food was good, they even had crispy duck roll though the songs they played were not quite cny. It's quite weird to be celebrating cny to the tunes of 'don't cha' by pussycat dolls, if you know what I mean. -.-''

Sis came to visit on Saturday and we had some delicious Malaysian food and bumped into a cousin at the restaurant. Haha.. what a coincidence. Hmm... it was really really nice to have sis around. Went shopping after that and got some bargains at the market too. I felt happy! =) It felt quite wrong when I send sis off at the train station on Sunday. It was new year's eve and family members were suppose to get together and there I was saying bye byee... I felt a lot sad. Oh well, what can one do when school's on as usual on Monday. =(

Waited at the bus stop for quite some time that Sunday. I guess the buses were running late. Felt really tired when I got home but was so happy to talk to mum on skype and seeing everyone wishing me happy cny. =) We talked and talked and shared news which was really really nice. For a moment, I pretend I was just at home and my mum was sitting nearby talking to me. That felt nice. =)

Then, I got a surprised at about 9.30pm. My dad skyped and talked to me! It was approx 5am Malaysian time. I was so surprised and the first few things I said was 'why are you up so early in the morning?' instead of 'happy cny'. Haha... It's just so like me to check the time in M'sia when he called. I think dad's real sweet to wake up early purposely to talk to me and sis. I wonder if he did manage to catch sis online. Felt so so SO HAPPY! He said he'd promised to call either M'sian time cny eve or cny morning and so there he was. I thought with mum talking to me that was it. Haha... I'm so happy! Sometimes I think my mum and dad spoil me lots. =P

Despite the distance, I must say, I had a rather good chinese new year. I am a happy girl. =)

p.s. currently listening to Mgirls- The peach blossom opened (literal translation. =P)

On Monday, I went to seek a lecturer's help but got scared or rather I should say I was petrified and upset after that. Trying to recover from the whole incident which actually took away all my self-confidence and left me in a daze for the entire day. Couldn't study, couldn't function properly which was really bad.

Talked to a few people and especially my family. I feel so loved and care for by them that sometimes it touches me and ironically makes me cry, but just a little and in a happy way. =)

I feel extremely blessed to have a family like that. =)

On another note, happy chinese new year to all my friends and family.

p.s. SUPER MEGA PROUD of my sis for getting straight A's! ^^

I skipped my lecture today and studied the material at home instead. I think it's more productive this way cause I fall asleep in this particular module lecture. Plus, she basically reads from the notes anyway. >.< BUT, I will attend the Wednesday's lecture.

Hmm... cny just round the corner. I miss my family.

I need to stop being afraid of hurting other people's feelings and just say what I want and what I think instead of compromising on myself and what I want all the time.

ARGH...

Why am I always like this?!

p.s. Sometimes when I (e.g.) roll my eyes and the person happen to glance over, I don't know if it was noticed, but... I only did it cause I am super annoyed and irritated for a valid reason; I still get worried I might hurt the person's feelings. Haiz.. why do I care so much!

Finally done with test and exam. The exam was a nightmare but oh well, nothing I can do now. I felt as though I basically couldn't think during the paper. Things that I knew had me thinking for three times? Made careless errors as well. Lots and lots of marks flew away. There were like 9 questions and the two I didn't manage to do cost 40% of the paper. -.- I guess I got too stressed out and worried. I just really really dislike how things other people say manage to affect me so much. So disappointing. =( Anyhow, hopefully by some miracle it'll turn out okay.

It's the end of first week yet things started to pile in already. I'm starting to feel the stress and workload. Geez... 2 assignments given out in week 5 (due in week 10), a test in week 10, and four tests spreaded out this term for another module. Not to forget another assignment to work on over the holidays. -.-

Okay, enough talk about studies. That's making me stress out right now. Hmm.. weirdly blogger ate away this part of my post. So weird... Anyway, I was saying that I went swimming on friday. There's an allocated time slot 3-4pm for female swimmers only. However I had a lecture then and headed to the pool at 4pm. It was really awkward as there were more than 10 guys there and I was the only girl at a certain point. Even the lifeguard on duty was a guy... I felt rather out of place. I swam up and down the pool about 10 times and then headed home. I guess the guys were all waiting for 4pm to have their turn at the pool.

Saturday was a fun fun day. =) I went to London with two friends. We journeyed to the busstop at 6.30am and arrived in London at approx 9.20am. It was freezing cold!!! I didn't expect London to be so cold. We headed to Apollo Victoria theatre to queue for matinee tickets (Wicked, the musical). The box office wasn't opened and we had to wait till 10am.

I think we became popsicles during that seemingly endless wait. While we were freezing out there, it started snowing too. Great, huh? >.< Luckily we managed to get our tickets for a pretty good price, 25 pounds. The show was great and I really enjoyed the company. =)

Had loads of dim sum for breakfast and a huge tower of strawberry ice-cream after that. I am amazed at how much I put away sometimes. I think more exercise is in order. Haha... I am afraid of the weighing scales at this point.

Oh, we had korean food for dinner and eclairs for dessert after that before catching our bus back to Uni. It was a long day but really exciting and fun. Reached home at around 12am. Got to meet two people today and running around the city was good. Most of all, it was especially nice to see my sister and hang out with her for half a day. I felt happy and not so miserable anymore. =)

Okie, about time to go put my clothes into the dryer. tata for now ~

Managed to do SOME studying today but not a lot. There are 7 chapters and I'm still at chapter 1. I am reassuring myself that it is okay since I did badly during the first test, i.e. chap 1 and 2. SO, I should be able to go faster for the last few chapters. =)

Anyway, feeling really happy and at peace at the moment which is good. =) I feel as though with the passing of every single day, I learn something more, I am able to see clearer and also feel all that I have, especially the love from family and friends.

I feel blessed. =)

Haven't been writing and being ever so conscious about the eyes that actually read the nonsense and stuff that I randomly write makes it tough. Hence, noticeably the lack of posts. Anyhow, with the new year comes a brilliant idea and hopefully I will be able to write more! =)

Anyway, been travelling a lot this holiday. Prague, Canada and London. Things were just fabulous! Besides, summer break, ever since the beginning of university life, this is probably the longest holiday I've taken without any studying being done. Haha... I feel happy yet stressed out and worried at the same time. There's a little sense of doom but I hope that's just me being overly paranoid. ARGH! 5 days left to study for a major 55% exam. Hmm... 11% a day. I think that's manageable IF and only IF I manage to stop slacking off. GAH! I need to strap myself down!! See see? Proof: blogging at this insanely hour when I'm lacking the time to study and not sleeping!! -.-''

There's lots and lots I wanna write but sadly I think I shall listen to that little voice telling me I should go to sleep since erm... 4 hours ago? YIKES!

oyasuminasai ~ =)